Preparations Begin!

Right after Christmas, I started working out the practical aspects of the Odyssey.  My first problem was, what would I do about my elderly and visually impaired father?  Because I had no idea how long I would be gone (I’ve never left him alone for more than four or five days) I didn’t know if he would even be comfortable with my going away for an extended amount of time. 

Also, Ed is very fond of my father, partially because it’s not possible not to be fond of my father, and partially because he envisions his own son (who is currently 20) still living with him when he is 82.

Additionally, I wasn’t sure if Dad thought the Odyssey was stupid or not.

ME:  Do you think the Odyssey is stupid?

HIM:  Listen…how many people do you think live in New Jersey who have never even been to Atlantic City?

ME:  I don’t know.  A lot.

HIM:  Exactly.  So, how many people have been to any of these weird things you’re going to see?

ME:  Um…fewer?

HIM:  Right.  So, it’s not stupid.  It’s important.  Go.

So, I made sure all his medication was refilled, bought him $300 worth of frozen food, and gave him the phone number of my friend who is a nurse.  One worry down.

I started planning the actual route of the Odyssey, and realized that my biggest stumbling blocks were going to be due to the fact that Weird NJ was published over ten years ago.  I had to do extensive online research to make sure these sites and locations were even still there. This proved to be a good decision, as I not only found out that a lot of them have been demolished, removed, burned down, or renovated, but also that there are at least two places I had planned to go at which I would be have been immediately arrested for trespassing and vandalism.

Moreover, a lot of places they discuss in the book don’t have an actual address, and are just described as “Somewhere in HoHoKus,  there is a road where…” or some other vague description.  I certainly can’t waste time driving around HoHoKus asking random people, “Excuse me, can you tell me where the road with the weird thing on it is?” So, I’m forced to limit the Odyssey to places which I can plug into my GPS (also, I have topographagnosia).  Google Maps was a huge help with this.

There are likewise a lot of one-time incidents in the book, wherein something bizarre happened once a long time ago never to be repeated, like it rained dachshunds for twelve minutes in 1965, or a sinkhole opened up, swallowing an entire family in 1982.  Obviously, there’s no reason to go there.  I’m kind of disappointed this means I won’t be able to see the Dancing Underpants of Rahway, though, since it happened only once.  Not to mention, there are several local “characters” that may have died by now (with the exception of The Big Hairy Man of Somerset County, who apparently lives forever).

There’s also an unsettling amount of places at which the weirdness/spookiness only happens at the stroke of midnight, or 3:15am, or when it’s hailing or something in the middle of nowhere.  No, thank you, not without a SWAT team, the Fire Department, and several psychics.

The other issue I was facing is, where on earth was I going to stay?  I don’t have any family in New Jersey, with the exception of an 89 year-old, daily Mass-going aunt in Cape May, and I can’t very well freeload my way across the state at my Facebook friends’ houses.  If it wasn’t the middle of winter, I’d have no problem sleeping in the car, but hypothermia seems an embarrassing way to finish out my life.  Fortunately, Dad agreed to put me up in various peculiar (and haunted!) hotels (which might warrant an entry all its own).

T-minus-4 and counting!

N.B.  I have no idea why the right-hand column of the blog looks like that.  I'm trying to fix it.  Consider it avant-garde for now.